Yesterday my friend messaged me to tell me a minor celebrity we both liked had committed suicide. This guy was young, extremely handsome and from the outside had everything going for him – you could NEVER imagine someone like him taking his life. According to his close friends he had been going through difficult times for a few months with deaths in the family, financial woes and heartbreak. Sometimes life just gets too much and for many of us the only way we think we can feel peace is to end it altogether.
The reason I set up this blog was originally because I was going through so many emotions and upset myself that I needed an outlet. I was afraid of what I was going to do to myself if I didn’t talk about it, even if it was in a blog no one read or to strangers on the internet.
I do suffer from depression, and I have had suicidal thoughts – in fact it’s a battle I still face on a very regular basis. I go through life and every year I live like it’s my last, mainly because I know life is temporary and I don’t want to waste a year. However, there is also a dark side to me that knows life could be temporary if I choose to make it so, and so I value every day I still have the strength to carry on. There’s a reason I have the word ‘strength’ tattooed on my arm as a daily reminder to keep going.
Since this horrible and sad news story broke, I want to touch upon the subject of depression and suicidal thoughts. I think all of us suffer with depression at one stage or another. It may be due to an external situation, or it may be an inner conflict we have with ourselves that makes us feel extremely low. I’ll be honest and say that I have never sought help for the way I feel, and I have been feeling this way for YEARS. I have used other things such as fitness, to help me through, and whilst they have helped a lot I still struggle a lot. I have realised now after the news about yet another beautiful person ending their life – something that happens daily – that I am going to finally seek help.
Some signs you may be depressed are: Feeling continuously low and sad, having zero motivation in things – especially things you may have loved, feeling tearful regularly, struggling to make decisions, low self esteem, feelings of anxiety, thoughts of self harm or suicide, getting angry and intolerant to others.
Depression can then affect other areas of your physical life, meaning you may struggle to eat or overeat, suffer with sleep problems or find yourself constantly feeling tired and exhausted. Having aches and pains, a loss of libido and in girls your menstrual cycle could be completely out of sync.
The symptoms above will then affect your life, and things such as work, family life, your hobbies and interests and social life will not be the same. You may want to hide from everything and everyone, you may not put in effort at work and feel as though you’re going to lose your job. If you’re a parent or partner you may not put in effort with your children or your spouse whom you adore (you may not even feel the same love for them that you once did) – everything is OFF.
This is when it’s time to CHANGE and CONFRONT these demons. If you feel any of the symptoms above I beg you to go and TALK to a medical professional about it. They may put you in touch with a therapist who can help you through your dark times, or they may prescribe you something that will help ease these emotions.
Do NOT let these feelings engulf you to the point that you can’t get out. Do not be another victim to suicide because you feel you have nobody. Even if you really do have no friends or family, just know that you are worth being alive. Every emotion we ever have in life be that happy or sad, it passes. You may feel completely destitute today, maybe you’re stuck in bed not wanting to ever face the world again. Maybe you hate your job, hate your life, don’t want to breathe for another moment because you are suffering huge losses or devastation. All I can say is, whilst you may have gone through horrific experiences, you WILL feel better again. You WILL have days where you laugh and smile. There are so many good people out there who are waiting to meet you, there are so many people out there who can’t wait to LOVE you. There are so many people out there that need YOU.
Just hold on and breathe through these tough times and ride that storm.
Talk to people, get help, talk to others – ask them how they really are, even if they seem okay. You never know what anyone is going through – be kind to others, and to yourself.